Why I blog...

I use this blog as a kind of therapy. Sometimes I'm happy and want to share it, sometimes it's just a random thought and sometimes it's to deal with things in my past. After all a burden shared is a burden halved

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Letter to my childhood self...

WritersBootcamp day 22 topic: A letter to my child/childhood self...

My first thought when I saw this topic was of a scene from back to the future, I can warn my self of all the bad things that happened in my life and maybe prevent it from happening. But you know the theory of the butterfly effect and all that. Well it prevents us from changing things in our past because the outcome will be different. I thought maybe I could prevent the rape of my 12 year old self, but again my experience has drawn me to other survivors who I could relate to and helped me counsel others in a similar situation with complete empathy. I thought about not getting married so young and in order to save myself from the heartache that is divorce but again I love my 3 children and without my marriage they might not be here. So in the end I decided that I can't really change anything, even if I want to because everything I am now, everything that is in my life right now is all a combination of everything I have been through the past 42 years to get here. Right now I am happy, I don't have everything I want but I have everything I need. So without changing anything here is the advice I would give 10 year old me...

Dear Karen

Life is hard and it's okay to admit that sometimes and ask for help. We are not meant to go through all the bad stuff alone, seek companionship and confide in people you can trust. Tell, tell, tell!!! I can't stress this enough, if something bad happens to you, don't keep it all to yourself. You have a family who loves you and they will understand and maybe help you if you only trust them. If an adult takes advantage of a child that adult is always in the wrong and it is always their fault not yours!! Trust me on this.

Love your mom more and give her a break. She may not be perfect but she loves you. I know you can't see it right now but she does I promise. She has some good advice for you, she has experienced this world a bit more than you and she does know what she is talking about...sometimes.  Respect others and know that your trust is precious and must be earned. 

Study more, I know you like to just cram the day before a test but imagine the regret you may have years later when you wonder if you could have been an A student if only you put in a little effort. Life is too short for regrets. You will have plenty of time to go out and have fun when you are older, it really isn't what life is all about.

Your life will have a mix of happy and sad moments but you are stronger than you think and you will endure. Just when you are about to give up, something good will come your way. So when you're feeling down remember that nothing lasts forever. On this note, love your family they may not always be around. Your life will mean something to certain people so make it count.

You will discover that money is just a means to an end and having material possessions cannot satisfy your soul. Try collecting memories instead of things, they will mean more in the long run. 

The world is a crazy place at the moment, there is much sadness all around you, you will feel deeply for people you have never even met. I know its sounds strange but it's true.

Well I guess I better get back to 2014 because there are some exciting things happening right now, but you have plenty of time to catch up.

Ps: Dance more, jump around and enjoy your youth full energy.

Love Your older self

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