Why I blog...

I use this blog as a kind of therapy. Sometimes I'm happy and want to share it, sometimes it's just a random thought and sometimes it's to deal with things in my past. After all a burden shared is a burden halved

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Feeling like sponge

Sometimes life can feel a little claustrophobic. Imagine an opera singer with her mouth taped shut. A piano player forced to wear mittens. A painter with his hands tied behind his back. A marathon runner losing both his legs right before an important race or an Olympic swimmer living in a desert never to see a pool again. All of these scenario's seem quite harsh and yet there are people who are worse off than any of them. there is the homeless man who has no where to call home, and doesn't know when or where his next meal will be coming from. I could go on and on, but each one of us have our own limits. Our very own version of personal hell. Pain is relative because of our varying pain thresholds and tolerances.

For me, my life is pretty 'normal' (another relative term)but sometimes, just sometimes it can be quite unbearable. Sometimes I feel like I am a cherry glaze cake (much like the one in the picture above) and life is wonderful. And then there are times when I feel like I have lost my glaze and all my cherries are gone. I am just a dry sponge. I am grateful for those 'sponge' moments as they make me stronger and help me learn to appreciate those times when I do have all my toppings.

So life has ups and downs, no surprises there. We all have to experience a bit of both in our life time. I just feel that we need to be sensitive to those around us, as you never know when someone is in their up or down phase. and what may seem like a minor complication to you may be a major crisis to someone else. God created us all different so that we may compliment and uplift one another.

So my challenge to myself and any one silly enough to be reading this(that's you) is this: Go out and untape that singer's mouth, go and untie those mittens, release the artists bonds, be the artificial leg for that runner or simply just dig a hole and make a pool for that swimmer. Just go out and buy some cherries and glaze that cake.

BE SOMETHING SPECIAL TO SOMEONE IN NEED!!! the rewards are everlasting.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Job description

The other day while pondering upon life's mysteries I counted all the things that I do or have done as a mother, wife teacher etc and this is what I came up with;

Home executive, Diva of domestication, I.T. consultant, google /search engine specialist (especially when needed to do Internet research for projects) Taxi/lift co-ordinater/ Travel consultant, sibling rivalry negotiator and facilitator, part-time short order cook, Chef and Sandwich maker, tea/coffee girl, Hostess, Make-up artist(for concerts and such)Creative accountant, fashion consultant "honey does this tie go with this shirt?")chief clothing buyer, Pantry stock er and all round shopping officer, Bath and shower singer, Washing and ironing expert, Amateur lounge entertainer (when guests come over and it literally is in my lounge)family Psychiatrist, Sexologist, 24 hour Nurse (always on call) Spiritual advisor, Sexual fulfilment participator, keeper of family secrets, Imagination enabler, Home decorator, Television viewer and part time remote control holder, Education specialist, Parent teacher conference holder, Pet feeder, Curfew manager, mail box checker, and avid supporter of reaching for your dreams.

All of these things are usually just a part of our every day life, and we wonder why we are so tired at the end of the day.

Partners in crime

Why is it when we look for a partner in business we look for like minded individuals with the same ideals and visions as ourselves? We want someone we respect and who has good business savvy that will help you reach your ultimate goal in life. Would you 'get into bed' with a business partner who has anything but your utmost respect?

Partners in crime: would you contemplate (hopefully not) but it is a good example, committing a crime with someone you hardly know? Someone you are not sure you can trust? someone you may know a little, but not really well?

Why then, when it comes to a lifetime partner or a spouse, one is ready to jump into a relationship half cocked. Not really knowing the other person or their goals, ideals or visions for the future? This to me is a sign of disrespect. Not respecting them enough to actually get to know them before jumping into bed with them (literally as well as figuratively). I think sometimes certain relationships fail because we are ruled by emotions, lust and physical attraction which makes us feel good when we are attracted to the other person but then we live by the mentality of; hey if it feels good then why not go for it.

But then it's all about feelings and emotions and lust (can't forget the lust). What happens when the feelings and emotions start to fade or die down? what are you left with then?

Just questions swimming around in the huge pool of my emotional brain. (yes I do have a brain)

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Retribution, Disapointment and Punishment

I am told that when I was young I was quite the 'handful' Which is the politically correct way of saying I was a naughty little s..... My mom always maintained though that her consolation was that one day I would have kids of my own and they too would be teenagers at some point. This was her revenge as it were, and boy was she right! (but those stories are for another time) So back to my childhood, all the adults in my family had their own personal weapon of choice for metering out punishment. That was back in the day when corporal punishment was the norm and not a controversial subject. My paternal grandmother had a wooden spoon (which had a sad face drawn on it with marking khoki, i suspect) it was called 'tickler the wooden spoon'. This name always struck me as a bit odd, as it didn't tickle at all. My aunt on my mother's side had 'The purple slipper'. This was an adult sized (purple)  slipper with a rubberised sole, very flexible and therefore could deliver quite the spanking. My maternal grandparents preferred the old fashioned hand spanking method and my mother had a leather belt. Apparently the idea of the leather belt (I was told in later years) was meant to be so scary that it would not need to be used, merely threatened with. The threat was meant to coax me into submission. Unfortunately for me that theory was was ineffective. There was also the usual removal of privileges and cancelled play dates as well as 'time out 'in my room, these were for minor offences. But my ultimate worst punishment of all, the one I feared the most and could almost not bear to live through was when my grandpa looked me in the eye and said "my girl I'm so disappointed in you." Those words echoed around the room and felt like a knife jab straight to my heart. Still to this day I hate disappointing people in general. It's not so much that I have a need to please everyone, but I do have this need to not displease anyone.

In days of old when chivalry was rife, men gave their word and it was like an oath and could be trusted to be  true. They fought for the integrity of their word and to defend a woman's honour.
Today we are so used to broken promises, people not keeping their word and gossiping about other's that one's word is no longer considered to be true. Your word is taken with a pinch of salt and often not trusted unless proven to be true. Sort of like 'guilty until vindicated instead of innocent until proven otherwise'

So the bottom line is, I hate disappointment just like any other person, but not as much as I hate disappointing others. And if somehow, somewhere I have offended you or disappointed you in the past. I am truly deeply sorry.

Please forgive me