Friday, February 26, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
This year I embarked on a new adventure in life one that can have several possible outcomes. Normally this type of uncertainty would be quite intimidating and leave me feeling quite unnerved, but I feel at peace with the decisions I have made thus far. Life under normal circumstances is complicated enough without upsetting the applecart and throwing life changing decisions in the mix. Whoever coined the phrase "truth is stranger than fiction" sure knew many truths. last year was a wake up call for me, I realised I am a grown woman. I am empowered to create my own happiness and proceeded to do so. I sat down and created two lists, one with all the things that make me happy and that I enjoy and one with the opposite, things that make me unhappy. I decided to do more of the things on list number one and start eliminating things from list number two altogether.
I found it quite liberating crossing things off list number two, almost like free therapy!!! Now I am not saying this will solve all of life's problems, but it means I am taking a pro-active step forward, with contentment being my ultimate goal. I don't expect to find "utopia" but at least some joy and happiness.
I don't mean I am going to live an indulgent lifestyle as this would be selfish, but I will assessing anything I do from now to see id it is contributing towards my happiness or taking me further away from it. Something I think I should have done a long time ago.
I feel like I am exfoliating the dead cells of my life to reveal the beautiful glowing me underneath.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
My sister in- law once (many many years ago) said that when she died she wanted to come back as a tree. besides not believing in that type of after life personally I always thought that to be a rather odd statement.
For some reason this week I remembered this and it gave me pause for thought. Yes why not be a tree, after all they are very useful. I myself love going for long walks in the forest amongst the trees it is a sight too beautiful to describe. Trees provide oxygen for our environment, they provide shade on a sunny day. They provide shelter for many species of wildlife and sustenance with the fruits they bear.
So upon reflecting I have decided it is indeed good to be a tree.............then I remembered wooden furniture!! hhmmm so it's good to be a tree unless of course you are spotted by a man with an axe to grind. "TIMBER"
Monday, February 1, 2010
Over the next 9years I got to know my sister who I came to love and respect, although we did not see each other too often we always made an effort to call or text and keep in touch.
I saw her last on June 16th 2008 (father's day service).
Sunday June 29th 2008-My birthday. my sister called me and wished me happy birthday and asked when I was coming to visit her again as she was missing me. I told her I would make an effort to come in the next two weeks as I was now on school holiday ( I am a teacher).
A week went by and I got a phone call from my mom the following Sunday 6th Of July. My sister was in hospital, she had swallowed a massive amount of prescription pills.
Monday 7th July 2008, at 8:30am she was pronounced legally brain dead but her body was still being kept alive with machines. At 8pm on Monday the 7th of July Adelle Jones was taken off life support. It took only 15minutes for her heart to give in and she was pronounced legally dead at 8:15pm.
I will always live with the regret of not going to visit her that week and wonder what it was that made her feel her life was so desperately doomed that there was no way to overcome it.
I will never allow my life to become so unhappy to the point that I will no longer want to live it!! EVER!!!
I will live it and do it to the fullest for my sister!
I love you sis -just remembering you today xx
when I came along my mother was only 17 years old and still living at home with her parents.
My grandparents were a very happy but humble couple who lived simply and got by without much. Grandpa worked for the Post Office, fixing telephone lines and Grandma or Ma as we all affectionately call her, stayed at home and took care of the kids (their 5 children and me child no:6). When my mom made mistake no: 2 she decided it was too much strain on their family life to have a 7th child so she discreetly "went away" for a couple of months. She had put my sister up for adoption much to the disappointment of my grandparents who were very family orientated and would do anything for anybody. I was only told of the existence of my sister when i was 13years old.
I have always had this enormous concern for closed adoptions and sperm banks. That someday you may meet someone of the opposite sex so perfect for you in every way, that it's like you were separated at birth, only to find out that in fact your DNA does come form the same donor.