Why I blog...

I use this blog as a kind of therapy. Sometimes I'm happy and want to share it, sometimes it's just a random thought and sometimes it's to deal with things in my past. After all a burden shared is a burden halved

Wednesday, July 6, 2011


(part 1 here, part 2 here)

Part 3……..
So the moment of truth is finally here!!!!

After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, I finally have the DNA results.

Today he called me out of the blue and said “Hi, the results came back today”. I was a bit in shock and said “What? How do you know?” He told me that he had received an email this afternoon with the results. I said (still in shock) “really. That’s weird I didn’t get an email, and all my mail comes directly to my blackberry.” Then he said “Well, don’t you want to know the results?

“Yes, yes of course” I said “what is it?” Deep breath………………………

“Well I can call you daughter and you can call me dad” he said. I said “Wow, awesome. So what did it say exactly?” and he said that it just said Parentage a match. Then he started a sentence with “I don’t know how…… (Stopped mid sentence, then continued with) I can never make up for all the time….” I stopped him there and reassured him that this was not about that. I told him that I was never lacking a father as my step father was wonderful. This was much bigger than just the two of us. I wanted to get to know my sisters, if they were interested in getting to know me.

I reassured him that I would not contact them first and allow them to decide if they want to be a part of my life and vice versa. He asked me if I was happy with the result. I said yes, that it was a big relief and that now there is no more doubt. “Yes no more doubt, no more question mark “he added.

He then told me, he has not even spoken to his wife and daughters yet, (my step mom and sisters!!! It finally sunk in) he wanted to tell me first.

He said he was happy with the result.
I said thank you so much for letting me know and said goodbye.

Exhale…………… I felt elated, excited and weird all at the same time. Why did I have such a huge physical reaction to confirmation of something I have known all my life? I mean this isn’t news to me. Then I realized, it was because had the news been the opposite my whole life would have had a new question mark. There is a lot to be said for closure, it is truly a beautiful thing. Also there is the excitement of new family, two sisters (aunties for my children) and their children (cousins for my children).

What’s even more weird is that I find myself gaining two new sisters on the eve of the 3rd anniversary of my sister (on my mom’s side) death. Tomorrow marks 3 years since my sister took her own life, I miss her so much.


  1. Sjoe. I am breathing a sigh of relief with you. Imagine having a whole new question mark for your life?
    So glad that you finally have the clarity that you need and that you can all move on. I really hope that you get to have some form of relationship with your sisters. ((hugs))x

  2. First off (((hugs)))
    @nd, yay, what an awesome journey you are about to embark on :)

  3. wow Karen not sure how I have missed that this was all going on in your life, I just caught up now. What a lot to take in...I'm so happy for you that it all came out conclusive and that you have had confirmation of what you always knew in your heart. I hope you build a wonderful relationship with your sisters x

  4. oh that was Stresskitten on the last comment, I can't get it to post under my name :(

  5. That was really telling and brave. Thank you for sharing

  6. Wow, great to now know. So sorry about your sister though.

  7. Wow, I feel like I've been on this journey with you! Thank you for sharing so much of your life with us. I'm so excited for you!


  8. WOW! What a great gift, there is something to be said for a women's intuition ! It is my hope that you and your sisters will make a happy and fulfilling journey together with your biological father. He will have two new great grandchildren soon.