Why I blog...

I use this blog as a kind of therapy. Sometimes I'm happy and want to share it, sometimes it's just a random thought and sometimes it's to deal with things in my past. After all a burden shared is a burden halved

Monday, June 20, 2011

Secret Sister Saga

So as I have stated in a previous blog entry, my mom and my biological dad had a one night fling, which resulted in…….well….me.

As I grew up I knew about my dad from early on, but was never apart of his life nor was he apart of mine. I was curious to meet him and eventually did. After that I met him on occasion and even spent a weekend at his home when I was 10. By then he was married and had two daughters aged 7 and 5 respectively. So being the 10 year old that I was (and desperate for siblings of my own) I blurted out to his daughters on the Sunday morning after spending the entire weekend with them as ‘a child of a friend’, that I was their sister.

Of course they didn’t believe me. They ran to their mom and asked her if it was true, she said I was lying. Further fuelling their disbelief. I now know that she was just protecting. Her daughters who were far too young to cope with the truth. She did promise to tell them when they were old enough to understand. Needless to say that was the last time I spent a weekend at my ‘dads’.

Fast forward 28years I am now 38years old. He has floated in and out of my life about 5 times in total. Roughly every 7 years or so he would pop by for an hour to visit my kids or I would do a ‘drive by” visit to his house. I would pack the kids I the car, drive up to his house, send my son to knock on the door and ask for Mr. so and so and then sit in the car and wait for him to come out (being careful not to upset the wife and kids). He would come over to the car and I would say “look how big your grandchildren are getting”. He would smile and say “hi, I promise to come visit”. But never did.

It never phased me much as I had the most wonderful stepdad. I was truly blessed as my Grandparents were my earliest parental figures until my mom settled down from her wild ways and got married and took over that role. I was given a stepdad who treated me as if I was his own flesh and blood. So it was not like I was lacking in the father figure department.

Years went by and I always wondered why my sisters from my (bio) dad side never contacted me. Surely they would want to meet me? Or my children? (Their nieces and nephew). As much as I wanted to meet them. Apparently not.

Every two years or so I would try and look them up. I did a drive by ‘dads’ house in 2008 only to find he no longer lived there. I had no idea where he lived, no phone number to contact him on. I tried to Google him or his daughters, but I had no idea if they were married and what their new surname would be. I tried Facebook, but that too was fruitless without proper surnames. I gave up and carried on with my life and forgot about them for a while.

2011: In April this year I got a Facebook message from someone with the same surname as him. She said “a friend of mine says we are related”. It turns out she was ‘his’ niece.

Eureka I told her how I was related to her and that I wanted to track down that side of my family. I was totally overjoyed at my new found family member. Through her connection I managed to befriend one of my ‘sisters’ on Facebook. It turned out they had both indeed gotten married and had different surnames. I sent the one who accepted my friend request a private message. Telling her that we were sisters. Of course this was quite a shock for her and she contacted her older sister. The older sister (obviously the more skeptical of the two) messaged me with the “do you have proof to back up your statement?” attitude. I counteracted with “ask your dad”.

Well the next day I received a phone call from said ‘dad’ saying “I need to see you”.

End of part one…


  1. Holy crapsticks... I'm quite speechless! He never told them!??!

  2. yes, thats what I thought too Angel, but wait he had his reasons

  3. Sounds like he never told them. I wish that people would realise that secrets have a way of coming out and then it is so much worse when it does eventually come out. I wish you strength in the time ahead.(((hugs)))x