Why I blog...

I use this blog as a kind of therapy. Sometimes I'm happy and want to share it, sometimes it's just a random thought and sometimes it's to deal with things in my past. After all a burden shared is a burden halved

Monday, February 1, 2010

My sister

I met my sister when she was 25 years old and I was 27. It was such an exciting occasion, I had known about her existence now for 14 years and often wondered what she was like. i was pleasantly surprised to find that even though we only had one parent in common we were extremely similar. We had the same taste in clothing, the same build and a lot of likes in common. In fact I thought she resembled a younger version of our mother. We bonded immediately and discovered we had our first child 6 months apart and many more commonalities.

Over the next 9years I got to know my sister who I came to love and respect, although we did not see each other too often we always made an effort to call or text and keep in touch.
I saw her last on June 16th 2008 (father's day service).

Sunday June 29th 2008-My birthday. my sister called me and wished me happy birthday and asked when I was coming to visit her again as she was missing me. I told her I would make an effort to come in the next two weeks as I was now on school holiday ( I am a teacher).

A week went by and I got a phone call from my mom the following Sunday 6th Of July. My sister was in hospital, she had swallowed a massive amount of prescription pills.

Monday 7th July 2008, at 8:30am she was pronounced legally brain dead but her body was still being kept alive with machines. At 8pm on Monday the 7th of July Adelle Jones was taken off life support. It took only 15minutes for her heart to give in and she was pronounced legally dead at 8:15pm.

I will always live with the regret of not going to visit her that week and wonder what it was that made her feel her life was so desperately doomed that there was no way to overcome it.

I will never allow my life to become so unhappy to the point that I will no longer want to live it!! EVER!!!

I will live it and do it to the fullest for my sister!

I love you sis -just remembering you today xx

3 comments:

  1. What a lovely tribute Karen. The questions left behind after are the hardest.

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  2. Thank you for sharing that- words can never convey the depth of feelings that we experience, but I felt how your heart is still crying out to hers.
    Eloquently put tribute to her.x

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  3. On Saturday morning I decided that I wanted to jump in front of a train.
    I thought about all the people I would leave behind and that they would probably question and wonder why I would give up now after being through so much already.
    So I thought about who I would write to and what I would say. Eventually, I got so tired of listing all the people that I knew cared about me in some way... that I soon realised.. hey.. I would be missed.
    It didn't change anything about my situation, but it did help me find a way to get out of bed and do something to change my situation.

    There is nothing that you could've done to change what happened. But you can make sure that you never get to that place...
    I've found that being authentic about my feelings is the way to go. I need to talk about what I'm feeling or I will go mad... well, madder than usual. ;)

    Love you girl. Thank you for sharing this.
    Take care of you.
    *big hugs*
    xx

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