Why I blog...

I use this blog as a kind of therapy. Sometimes I'm happy and want to share it, sometimes it's just a random thought and sometimes it's to deal with things in my past. After all a burden shared is a burden halved

Monday, September 15, 2014

A weighty issue

When I was younger I was always a skinny little girl even after I had 3 kids I managed somehow to lose the weight fairly quickly and my body bounced back.  I was only 21 after the birth of my third child so it made sense that I could keep my slim youthful figure. My average weight was around 52 kilograms and I was a size 32. When I turned 30 I noticed that my clothes were getting a little tighter and that my figure was changing. I put on a few kilograms, nothing too drastic but my body was expanding. At age 34 I had put on an extra 10 kilograms and gone up a dress size. This was a little worrying as I had only put on 15 kilograms with my two younger children during my whole pregnancy and 19 with my eldest. By now I was a size 34 with an average weight of 65kilograms.

I read somewhere about weight gain and how an underactive thyroid could be the cause. Because of course self diagnosing is often the most reliable. So with my new found information I went off to my doctor to have my thyroid gland checked out. Guess what, it turns out there was nothing wrong with my thyroid. The doctor asked me if I had changed anything in my diet. Suggesting that I may be responsible for my now overweight state sounded ludicrous to me and so I responded with a rather cocky: “No, not a thing”
“Well that’s just it” said my doc “You see as we get older our metabolism slows down and we have to start exercising and watching what we eat. You can’t go around eating like you did as a teenager anymore” I left his office feeling quite downhearted that there was no medical explanation I could blame for my weight gain. And so the downward spiral of battling with my body began.
By June 2010 at the age of 38 and going through a divorce, I was a size 36 boarding on 38 and my weight was 74 kilograms.

4 years ago

I have looked back on my life in the past 15 years and realised that there is a direct correlation between my being unhappy or depressed and overweight. My weight did not determine my happiness but my happiness or lack thereof determined my weight. Last year I bought a wedding dress for my wedding. The dress did not fit, I mean it looked so beautiful but the zip would not go up all the way. I bought it anyway in the hope that it may fit by the time I needed it or I would have holes put in the back and thread ribbon through it and leave the zip down. I was assured by a dressmaker that this would work.


I decided that I was going to only eat when I am hungry, not overeat (not that I ever did) and I would try and exercise in order to fit into that dress. Needless to say I have not exercised one bit (still as lazy and unfit as ever) but somehow by some miracle I managed to lose 17 kilograms and the zip on my dress went up all the way on my special day. Today I weigh 58 kilograms and can fit into a large size 32 or a small 34. I am not looking for a ‘well done’ as I didn’t work for it. If I had spent hours at the gym and was on a strict diet then I would welcome accolades for all my hard work. NO I simply stopped eating unnecessary. Scott and I eat mostly home cooked meals with normal but healthy type ingredients. I have not been on a diet; I still eat chocolate and cake every now and then.  I did also go off the injection about 2 years ago, but have only lost the weight in the last year so I am not sure if that had something to do with it.


Today I am happy, not because of my weight. I am just happy, with life, love and everything else. I am almost certain that this is the reason my body is now back to the way it was meant to be.
When I look back at the photos of me in the last 5 years I cringe at the thought of how huge I was. I told Scott the other day that it was a pity he met me when I was at my biggest. He simply said “I didn’t see you as a shape; I simply fell in love with you!” Awe how could I not be happy


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