I'm leaving on a jet plane

Bucket lists are supposed to be for ticking things off, as you get to do them, right? Well it seemed to me this year that as I grow older, my list seems to be getting longer. I mean the more I think about it, the more things I find I want to do. This year was a major birthday for me, so I took stock of all the things I haven’t achieved at this age *cough 40 cough* and I am still trying to figure out how to go about achieving them, this is not going too well, but I am hopeful. One of the things on my bucket list was to travel in an airplane. Now I know all you seasoned frequent- flyer -mile –type- people are probably rolling your eyes and thinking, what’s the big deal?, but I haven’t had the opportunity to fly, anywhere, ever! So it is a big deal for me.  I spent the first 22yrs of my adult life being a mom, going to work and coming home to domesticated things. Yes we did have the odd vacation, but mostly we went somewhere local.

Well one of my bucket list items are about to be ticked off!!!! As I type this I can feel butterflies in my tummy from excitement. For my 40^th birthday my boyfriend offered me plane tickets, and I just had to let him know when and where I wanted to go. Last month I won a competition on Bob Skinstad’s show on 2Oceans Vibe radio and it gave us free accommodation and meals at the fabulous Lethabo estate. So tomorrow morning we fly up to JHB to see some of our twitter friends and on Sunday we head to Lanseria to stay at Lethabo Estate until Tuesday.

To say that I am beyond excited is an understatement!!!! Someone posted this picture on twitter yesterday and it perfectly depicts how I am feeling right now.

Bucket list item number 1 *tick*

The after effects

This blog post recounts the events following when the fun goes wrong

Her dad came home and we went down to our local police station to report what had just happened to our daughter. When we arrived the constable at the reception desk recognized her dad (he is a detective captain in the police service) and his whole demeanor was friendly. I allowed my (then husband) to do all the talking. They spoke in Afrikaans. The constable asked what he could do for us, her dad explained that we were there to report a rape and pointed to my daughter. The constable said he would call sergeant so..and..so.. To handle the complaint and take our statements. My ex said No, he wanted another detective to take this case. The constable looked at him and said “Why, it’s just a little rape case?” My ex then leaned forward and said “Because it’s my daughter”.  “Oh” said the constable, “Captain why didn’t you say so in the first place”.

This just made me think, that if I was a woman on my own, trying to report this ‘little rape’ as he put it, how differently would I have been treated.

The next step was to go to the district surgeon and have our daughter examined for evidence of rape. Because the incident occurred in the Mitchells Plein area, we had to drive back there to have this done. The thought of putting my daughter through the humiliation of having some stranger examine her down there, after what she had just been through was quite nauseating. The examination showed that there was a little vaginal tearing and there was proof of sexual activity.

Then we were off to the local clinic, where she was given the morning after pill and an HIV test. We had to endure a lecture about what to do in the event the HIV test was positive. Thankfully it was negative, but they informed us that it could take several months to show up and she was put on a course of antiretrovirals just in case. To be re-tested in three months time.

Now all that was left was for justice to take place and the accused to be arrested.

More on the court case next blog post

Rape is NOT about sex

Rape is not about sex, it’s about power, control and dominance.

When you have been raped your first response is that of shame and guilt. Did I do something to precipitate this? Is it my fault? Why did this happen to me?  Will anyone believe that I didn’t want this to happen? I feel so dirty I don’t want anyone to know. You feel ashamed of what happened, sometimes even afraid to speak out and tell someone. You keep this shame within you and carry those feelings of guilt around like an anvil. Your life is changed forever.

This is what the perpetrator does to you; he invades your inner soul and robs you of your innocence. He controls your thoughts as you re-live this horrifying experience in your head. He has power and control over your feelings and even your outlook on life. Your attitude towards men in general can change. Having been raped at the age of twelve and being the mother of a child who was raped at the age of fourteen, I have very strong opinions on this topic. When I see people commenting on rape stories in the media as if the person brought this upon themselves, it makes my blood boil.

Rape is a degrading act of violence against another human being, where the rapist needs to feel in control and exert force over another to feel powerful. Feeding off the fear and shame of another; I say, no more! Stop the control! Stop the shame! Get rid of the guilt and speak out. Rob him of his power to control.

 It took me four years before I told anyone about my rape, but once I did I could feel the burden of carrying this secret around lifting from me. That’s why I am so vocal about it; I encourage you to share your experience with someone. Once you do, you release all that guilt and shame upon the person who deserves it, the rapist! He no longer holds a power over you. You can say with conviction; it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t deserve this. He is the guilty one; HE should be ashamed for what he has done. I will no longer be a victim, I am a survivor. I am in control of MY life and my feelings.

When the fun goes wrong

Read headline here

Friday August 8^th 2003- Three high school girls decided to bunk school. Ever bunked school as a teenager? I know I have, but this particular day will stay with these girls forever. This is not my story, but I have agonized over telling it for some time.

Three girls aged fourteen – fifteen years met at school that morning, but instead of going in they decided to walk up to their local taxi rank and go for a ride. By the time they reached Wynberg taxi rank most of the commuters had already been dropped off and the taxis were mostly empty. They got in a taxi with the driver, his friend and the guardtjie (person who collects the fare from commuters). The driver told them they could sit up front; two of the girls (girl A and B) went to sit up front sandwiched between the driver and his friend, while the third (girl C) had to sit in the back with the guard.

Girl A asked the driver to take them to her boyfriend’s house in Grassy Park, the driver then asked them if they would like a free ride around, they said yes. The music was pumping (if you know anything about South African mini bus taxis you will know that loud thumping music is a standard) and they were off. During the course of the drive the guard gripped girl C to the back of the taxi and pinned her to floor and raped her.

A while later one of the girls in the front turned around and asked where her friend was, as she couldn’t see her. Girl C then got up from the floor and girl B could see that she had been crying. She then told to the taxi driver to stop the car as she needed to go to the toilet.

The driver stopped outside a KFC and the three girls went into the bathroom, where girl C told them what had happened. Not knowing where they were they asked a customer inside and was told that they were in Mitchells Plain (not the safest suburb for anyone let alone three fourteen year old girls). They went back to the taxi and told the driver to take them back to the taxi rank. When they got there all three girls parted ways and girl C went to a nearby friend’s house.

She told her friend what happened and her friend’s mother immediately phoned her mom.

That was when I received the worst phone call a mother could receive.

When I arrived to fetch my daughter her eyes were swollen form crying and at that moment I just wanted to kill the person who did this to my little girl.

There is much more to this story, but I will share what happened after that in my next post.

I asked my daughter first before posting this if I could share her story on my blog, she responded with “It was a long time ago, I have grown from this and it has made me a stronger person”.

To my beautiful, brave daughter - You have grown into such a lovely young woman and I am proud of you. 

You’re dismissed

I like phrases, idioms and cliches, one thing I really enjoy is learning the origin and meaning behind these, but there is one saying I never liked. In fact I heard it for the first time when I was around ten years old and thought it was stupid. The saying; “you can’t have your cake and eat it too”. Being ten years old at the time I thought, well that’s dumb, what else are you supposed to do with your cake if you can’t eat it?

And that was that, I never allowed myself to think on it for a minute longer, it was a stupid saying, it didn’t make sense and I dismissed it. I refused to dwell on it. It was dismissed.

As I got older I heard it being used form time to time and somehow knew that it had something to do with not having it both ways, but how or why I didn’t know as it was stupid and I didn’t care to find out. I wasn’t going to waste any of my precious time thinking about it. One evening (recently) during conversation my boyfriend pointed out the meaning to me, saying that you can’t eat your cake if you have already had it. MIND BLOWN!

 Well duh, you say (insert laugh at my ignorant expense)

Then I began to think of all the things in life I have dismissed.

• Great opportunities I have missed out on, because of preconceived notions
• Friendships not made because of the wrong first impression
• Choices made with only one sided information
• Conclusions jumped to because of assumptions

I have decided that from now on I will…

Not judge a person based on someone else’s opinion of them, I will take the time to get to know them for myself and form my own opinion.

I will embrace more opportunities and scrutinize, before I dismiss something just because the ‘packaging’ doesn’t appeal to me at first.

I will try expand my experiences and be as open minded as I can, before dismissing things as stupid.

No more living in the comfort zone! Life is for living not coasting along.

The biggest addiction of all

There is an addiction so infectious it is an epidemic. It affects 1 out of every 3 people, and stays with you for life. It costs you money, time and your entire lifestyle will change. It’s called parenting.

Warning signs that you are about to become addicted:

You become broody every time you see a baby. You have the need to nurture and take care of something other than yourself. You feel your biological clock start ticking and you feel the urge to procreate.  You “ooh” and “aaah” over your friends Facebook pictures of their children. Your mother starts hinting that she wants grandchildren.

You can tell straight way upon entering someone’s home if they are addicted, there will be photos of their children on walls in frames on canvases almost everywhere. They will have child friendly furniture, gadgets to plug up holes in their electricity sockets. Strange vices around their home called toys, designed to help ease them into their new lifestyle. They will seek out family friendly places to go, where like-minded addicts can hang out and swop stories of their addiction.

Side effects:

Lack of sleep for the first few years, hours of soiled nappies, bedding and clothing. Potty training, sleep training and toddler tantrum sessions. Your life will never be the same, half your income will now be spent keeping up with this addiction.

All is not lost, there are websites, magazines and even support groups out there designed to help you cope with this particular addiction. Some people even feel the need to do it over and over again, by having more than one child.

There is good news though; it will make you far happier than anything you have ever experienced. The joy of being a parent (birth or adoption) is more than worth the sleepless nights and the damage to your financial security. I am happy to say, this is one addiction I will never beat.

I have however, discovered and new and just as dangerous addiction, grand parenting!!!

I am a woman I can........

I am a woman I can change my outfit five times before we leave the house and still complain about not feeling happy with my choice.

I am a woman I am soft hearted, sensitive and moody at times, but I still expect you to understand the many facets of me without questioning the mood swings.

I am a woman I can become irrational at certain times of the month, yell, cry and laugh all in one hour and still expect you to be understanding and compassionate with me.

I am a woman I am strong, independent, loving and kind. I want you to be supportive, gentle, sensitive and strong for me.

I am a woman I can be indecisive and demanding and sometimes challenging, but require you to be cool, calm and collected at these points in time.

I am a woman I want my man to be strong and manly, to throw me up against the wall and ravish me when the timing is right (and to instinctively know when that is) but I also want him to be sensitive enough to know when to share his feelings, and watch Twilight with me without complaining.

I am a woman I am obsessed with fashion, shiny things and frivolous conversations, I want my man to be able to be my lover, my rock and my best friend.

I am a woman, I am complicated and although I know you will never fully understand me, that my mind is an enigma to you, I love you for putting up with me and all my idiosyncrasies.

You are a man and you are all these things!

I love you Scott

The cupcake crowd

Last Friday a conversation on twitter about bucket lists and growing old, turned into a long discussion with a sense of  camaraderie between these women; @Shazphoto, @MamaZombie, @SamanthaPerry, @Nocturnalwenchy, @Jenty and myself. At the end of it all, we decided that we all needed a holiday and more cupcakes. 

This got me thinking about my upcoming birthday. I blogged a while ago about my "wobbly" I had when I turned 30, and now in just over a month I will be turning 40!!!!

I mean, how did I get old so fast? When my children were younger 30 was old to them and 40 was positively ancient. I remember when my ex turned 40 they called him an Australopithecus (yes I had to Google the spelling). 

I don't want to be old just yet, not when I still feel like I haven't really lived yet. spending most of my teens being married with children and all the responsibilities that came with that, kind of robbed me of my carefree years. (don't get me wrong I love my children and wouldn't change a thing)  Spending my twenties being a responsible parent of three primary school children was great. I kept thinking, when they are big enough to leave home, I can finally have a life, go out, meet friends etc and still be young enough to enjoy it. Then came my thirties and suddenly I had a teenager! No one can prepare you for parenting a teenager, let alone three. I prefer to call this period of  my life 'the dark ages' and leave it at that. (a whole other blog for another time).

Then my children suddenly grew up and became responsible adults in their own right. This was wonderful, I felt like I could finally be a little carefree and do things I like doing. At the same time I realised that I spent most of my life being a mom, a teacher, as Sunday school teacher, a domestic in my home and various other things we do instead of having fun. In between all of that I forgot to be a wife and a person. I was married for 22years and spent most of it working full day, doing household chores and sleeping. That pretty much summed up my life for two decades. And then I got divorced.

So here I am on the verge of turning 40, starting all over again. I live with my boyfriend (who is wonderful by the way). I have the financial security of a 20 year old, the body of a 60 year old, the mind and spirit of a 27 year old and the energy levels of (depending on the mood) either an 80year old or a 5 year old.

BUT.... you know what, in the end, it ain't nothing but a number!

This blog post was inspired by the cupcake crowd.

You make me proud to be your mommy

Last weekend my daughters and their babies came to spend the day with us.

I was quite amazed to see how differently each one handled their child. My daughters grew up together and are only 2yeas apart in age, their daughters are only one month apart yet their parenting styles are so different.

Each one with their own version of what the best parenting style is, and yet neither one better than the other, just different. I watched in awe at how grown up they are now that they are mommies and proud of the way they faced each parenting challenge.

My second eldest is at University, she is doing her B-ED and wants to be a math’s teacher or lecturer. I was particularly amazed at the way she overcomes life’s little obstacles. Last week while travelling home from Uni she was the victim of a smash and grab. While stopping at a red traffic light a man came up to her car and smashed the passenger window in and ran off with her handbag. She was in shock at first, but went off to the police station to report it. While chatting to her about it on the weekend, she said that a few of her assignments were in her handbag and that she would have to do them again. I asked her if she had told her lecturers about the incident, as they would probably give her an extension on her assignments given her circumstances. She replied that while it was a valid reason, she did not want to tell them and use it as an excuse, in her words “I don’t want to be a victim”.  Also she added that she would have to do them again anyway so there is no time like the present.

I was floored! When did my baby grow up? To be a smart independent and strong woman! I am one proud mommy!!!!

I love the fact that when life throws her lemons, she grabs a baseball bat and hits them away, and moves on. I like to think that my parenting skills aren’t all that bad.

Above is the picture that she posted as her BBM avatar the day after her smash and grab, says a lot don’t you think.

Idle threats and choose day

I always like to think that a person is as good as their word and if they say they are going to do something, they do.

As a mom I know the value of following through on your word. If you make an idle threat and your kid cottons onto you, they remember this and next time might not be as co-operative as you want.

So why then, after months of threatening my boyfriend that I was going to propose this leap year, did I not follow through?

I thought about it, a lot! And came up with this conclusion;

I am a girl, it may not look like it, but I am in fact a girly girl. I like make-up, high heels, pretty dresses, jewelry and bags. I am a romantic and still believe that chivalry is not dead. I like to be surprised (even though I want to know everything). And I like it when my boyfriend shows me he cares.

Now don’t get me wrong I am also a feminist who firmly believes that women are equal to men in all ways possible and that we are by no means the weaker sex.

But in the end I realized, I am just a girl, who believes in happy endings and fairy tale romances. A girl who wants to be swept off her feet. A girl who likes the idea of the handsome prince coming to save her (not because she can’t save herself, but because she chooses to be saved)

And let’s face it, my man is a writer (correction an awesome writer) so he has a better imagination than me and he probably would do a much better job of coming up with something more romantic.

So (no pressure honey) I look forward to my future, which is unknown, with excitement, not trepidation and fear. And whatever may be may be. Que sera sera

Borrowed blog post

This has been doing the rounds on Parent24 sprog blogs;

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER SOME ONE?

No, my mom said she was going to name me Michelle, but when I was born I did not look like a Michelle. My mind wonders what a Michelle looks like.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED AND WHY?

On Valentines Day. My boyfriend's beautiful heart and compassionate nature overwhelmed me.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?

No, as it is very untidy and takes a lot of effort for me to write neatly.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

Yes, three although they are technically not kids anymore. I have three grown ups. Cherilyn 23yrs Melissa 21yrs and Michael 18yrs.

IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?

Yes, of course I am awesome!

WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?

Hell yeah, it is on my bucket list of things to do.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CEREAL?

Muesli

DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?

Yes, otherwise I would have to untie them when I put them on again.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?

I think so, I have experienced quite a lot of bad in my life and they have made me a stronger person. I get emotional over other people's pain.

RED OR PINK?

I want to say blue as it's my favourite colour, but since I can only choose one of those two, definitely pink! I am a girly girl after all.

WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?

My children as they no longer live with me and sometimes my sister who took her own life in 2008.

WHAT COLOUR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?

A denim mini skirt and a pair of high heel wedges

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?

A bacon avo and feta toasted sarmie.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?

A cell phone consultant who tried to sell me a cell phone contract.

FAVOURITE SPORTS TO WATCH?

I don't watch a lot of sport, but would have to say rugby or tennis.

HAIR COLOUR?

I am not really sure what my hair colour is at the moment, probably silver grey. I have been dyeing my hair auburn since I was 12.

EYE COLOUR?

Hazel

DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?

No, although my boyfriend keeps telling me I need specs.

SCARY MOVIE OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

I am a sucker for mushy happy endings, but I do love a good suspense thriller. I hate slapstick comedy.

WHAT COLOUR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?

Black

SUMMER OR WINTER?

Autumn, there is nothing like a forest walk on a cool autumn day. I like summer, but not when it's too hot.

HUGS OR KISSES?

definitely kisses, soft and long.

FAVOURITE DESSERT?

Pecan nut pie with loads of cream.

WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?

I don't have one and can't really remember when last I did.

DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?

No, sadly I was absent the day they handed those out.

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

Mowbray maternity hospital Cape Town.

The best things in life are free...

The best things in life are free, but you can give them to the birds and the bees. I want money. That’s what I want….

Yes most of us spend our lives working and trying to find ways to make as much money as possible, I truly do believe the best things in life really are free.

Valentines Day last week was amazing; I can honestly say it was the most romantic night of my life!

No we didn’t go away to a log cabin in the woods

No we didn’t go to a fancy pretentious restaurant

No we didn’t go on a sunset cruise and

No we didn’t go for a walk along the beach

All of these things sound really romantic (and expensive) don’t they?

Anyone of the above would have been viable options for a great Valentines evening, but none would have been able to compare with the one I had.

awesome dinner table

So where did you go? You ask, well, we stayed at home. I have been working really long hours lately and my considerate boyfriend knew that the last thing I wanted to do when I got home that night was dress up and go out. When I walked in the door I was greeted by my gorgeous man wearing a shirt, tie (he looks so sexy in a tie! Yum) and an apron. He had cooked us a delicious meal, but the best part was the table setting. He kept apologizing for not taking me out to a fancy restaurant. Anyone can make a reservation at a restaurant, pay the bill and buy a lovely card. My man cooked for me, gave me a hand made card with the most beautiful heartfelt poem he wrote and decorated the table with over thirty red hearts he had taken the time to cut out himself. I told him that the waiter at whatever restaurant he would have taken me to, would not have taken the time to hand cut all those hearts and that the time and effort (even though it didn’t cost anything) he took to do all this just for me, meant more than any meal out. That’s the part a lot of men don’t get, you don’t have to spend a fortune to make a girl happy. A simple gesture of kindness, a little love note on the pillow, a flower on your plate when he serves you a toasted cheese sandwich or coffee in bed every morning can make a world of a difference without breaking the bank. All of these things I have experienced and these are the little things that show me he cares.

Yes my Scott is special, and Valentines evening for me, was the most romantic night of my life. Thank you Scott! I love you more and more with each passing year. 

my amazing Scott

High School

This blog post is brought to you by my sick-bed; yes I am at home lying in bed and feeling generally yucky. Naturally the only thing I can do in this situation is lie here and tweet as my thumbs are probably the only part of my body that has any energy to do anything today.  Reading twitter (to curb the boredom) I noticed that my incredibly forward thinking boyfriend has struck a chord with many people regarding their experiences of high school. This comes at a time when he is now thinking about his eldest who will be starting high school next year. His anxiety about making sure it’s the right school for his child is totally normal and most parents go through a similar experience. My initial thought when he voiced his concerns were, “I’m sure he will be fine” after all I have been there done that three times over. This, I realize is not helpful to our relationship as my blasé attitude to parenting (yawn) does not diminish the fact that my partner still has to go through some of the experiences I have already been through.

This made me think of my own high school experience, one that was not all roses, but more like thorn bushes and cacti. I started out like every other newbie, thinking I was all that and expected to be treated as such. It’s so different when you come from just being the top dog and senior at your primary school to starting at a grade 1 level all over again.

I had short curly hair and in primary school my ‘curls’ were cute and adored. In high school I was asked by a bunch of matric girls (the movie mean girls immediately springs to mind just thinking about them) if I permed my hair. This was the eighties after all. “No” I replied, quite proudly, “it’s natural”. The next day when I entered school I was greeted by strangers saying, “Good morning natural” with a sarcastic undertone. After that I became known as ‘nest head” I guess that was pretty much the beginning of my hate-hate relationship with my curly hair. The problem was that this kind of abuse (for lack of a better word) just made me more determined to show everyone that I WAS in fact all that. I became a complete brat at home, cheeky teenager syndrome multiplied by a thousand. I disrespected my teachers just to show the other kids I can be cool, dark and brooding, like James Dean in rebel without a cause. (Except I had a cause)  I did things like hitchhike to clubs, wear make-up to get into pubs when I was only thirteen. Normal teenage behaviour you may say, but I neglected my school work in all my efforts to be part of the ‘in’ crowd and be considered cool. This is one of my biggest regrets in life, to this day. I managed somehow to get through three years of high school without so much as opening a book to study! Not once. Then my mom enrolled me into a college (which I loved) to complete my education.

 I often wonder how much better I could have faired academically if I had actually applied myself and tried to study something. I guess I will never know the answer to that question. I wish I would have concentrated more on school work, respected my teachers who were only there to assist me in my education and worried less about the social aspects of it all. I wish I could have realized that because I am such a social person, I would eventual blossom and have an actual social life. That it would come in time and to just wait for it. I wish I could have known then that I would have friends who like me for me, and not to pretend to be something/someone else just to be liked.

Lessons one learns only form hindsight unfortunately.

For parents

As some of you may know, I have been writing articles for an online parenting website called Mommy Matters Magazine. The intention of this site is to help parents in all issues relating to parenting. It was created as a kind of resource site for parenting. In case you have missed some of my articles, today instead of blogging I have decided to compile a list of them. Below are the links to the articles I have written so far. I hope you find them useful and interesting.

How to cultivate an inquiring mind:

How to survive the first day of play-school:

Child friendly places to go in Cape town:

Beating the holiday boredom blues:

Milestones from 2-5yrs explained:

Positive potty training:

How Twitter changed my life

I was contemplating leaving my marriage when I realized all my friends are couple friends. You know the kind that won’t be there for you when you split up? So I heard about Twitter and joined on the 11th of April 2009. I went to a few tweet-ups and met some incredible people. At one particular tweet-up I went to meet a friend who had come down to Cape Town from Pretoria; little did I know that I would meet my new partner (the man of my dreams) that night. He had come to the same tweet-up with the same intention and we met and hit it off immediately. We were both in the same place in our lives and had so much in common; we fell madly, deeply in love. In June 2010 newly divorced, I moved in with my boyfriend and have been happier than I have ever been. This in itself is quite life changing. But wait there is more……… Shortly after I moved in, my boyfriend lost his job and relied on twitter for freelance work. This helped us get through the first year together. In May of 2011 my afternoon au-pair position ended as the mom I worked for quit her job and decided to become a stay at home mom, even though I teach mornings and do have a job, it was hard to adjust to having only half a salary. I tweeted that I was looking for an afternoon au-pair post and two weeks ago a twitter friend sent me details of someone looking for an au-pair, through this interaction I went for an interview and was offered the position. In October 2011 my boyfriend applied for a full time position which was advertised on Twitter and got it! He is also extremely happy in his new job, loving it every day.

That is two jobs and a life partner for my boyfriend and I all because of twitter! Not to mention all the wonderful people we have met through this social medium, some of whom I am proud to call friends in real life.

Yes sometimes twitter is just a place to be silly, tweet jokes, say what you are thinking. Sometimes it is a source of entertainment when you are bored or standing in a queue. Sometimes it can help you answer a question, choose a movie or help you with a recipe. Sometimes it can be a source of comfort when you are feeling down and sometimes, just sometimes it can literally change your life.

Family traditions

Have you ever wondered why you do certain things a certain way?  Most families have certain traditions that get passed down from generation to generation. I remember a school friend of mine whose mother was regretful that she had managed to have three out of her four children christened, but somehow never got around to having her fourth child christened. I could never understand why it was such a big deal for them as they were not the religious type and never really went to church. I asked her mom about it once and she just said; “because it's something that must be done”.

In my family we had a tradition of opening our presents at midnight on Christmas Eve; this was mainly because we had to rush in the morning to get to church. My boyfriend however did not agree with this idea, as I sadly discovered on Christmas Eve when he told me I had to go sleep and was only allowed to open my gifts in the morning.

Another friend of mine once spent a couple of months in America, during that time she was invited to a traditional thanks giving dinner. She watched the hostess prepare the turkey with great interest. As the lady of the house was about to put the turkey into the oven, she sliced off two thick chunks of meat from either side of the turkey. When my friend asked her why she did that, she said “I don’t know, it’s the way my mom does it.”

That evening the hostess asked her mom why she always sliced off the sides of the turkey before putting it into the oven. Her mom replied “because when I was young the turkey was bigger and we had to cut it so that it would fit into the oven dish”.

I realized that it’s okay to question something if you don’t understand it, rather than doing things blindly just because that’s how it’s always been done. This is what my generation is doing now anyway. Media and Hollywood keep telling us to question the norm, think outside the box. With movies that show an underachiever questioning authority and winning the hearts of the audience. People are becoming more and more vocal about what they want and sharing their feelings through social media and blogs. People are no longer willing to become doormats, they are starting to stand up for themselves and don’t get me wrong I like it, but I do see the side effects. Lack of respect seems to be the norm for young teens these days. I wonder if there is a way to question authority without being disrespectful of it. If there is, our teenagers sure haven’t learnt that yet.