Why I blog...

I use this blog as a kind of therapy. Sometimes I'm happy and want to share it, sometimes it's just a random thought and sometimes it's to deal with things in my past. After all a burden shared is a burden halved

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Rape is NOT about sex










Rape is not about sex, it’s about power, control and dominance.

When you have been raped your first response is that of shame and guilt. Did I do something to precipitate this? Is it my fault? Why did this happen to me?  Will anyone believe that I didn’t want this to happen? I feel so dirty I don’t want anyone to know. You feel ashamed of what happened, sometimes even afraid to speak out and tell someone. You keep this shame within you and carry those feelings of guilt around like an anvil. Your life is changed forever.

This is what the perpetrator does to you; he invades your inner soul and robs you of your innocence. He controls your thoughts as you re-live this horrifying experience in your head. He has power and control over your feelings and even your outlook on life. Your attitude towards men in general can change. Having been raped at the age of twelve and being the mother of a child who was raped at the age of fourteen, I have very strong opinions on this topic. When I see people commenting on rape stories in the media as if the person brought this upon themselves, it makes my blood boil.

Rape is a degrading act of violence against another human being, where the rapist needs to feel in control and exert force over another to feel powerful. Feeding off the fear and shame of another; I say, no more! Stop the control! Stop the shame! Get rid of the guilt and speak out. Rob him of his power to control.

 It took me four years before I told anyone about my rape, but once I did I could feel the burden of carrying this secret around lifting from me. That’s why I am so vocal about it; I encourage you to share your experience with someone. Once you do, you release all that guilt and shame upon the person who deserves it, the rapist! He no longer holds a power over you. You can say with conviction; it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t deserve this. He is the guilty one; HE should be ashamed for what he has done. I will no longer be a victim, I am a survivor. I am in control of MY life and my feelings.


2 comments:

  1. I have a friend that was raped as a young girl and again in her early teens and late teens. I have no idea what to say to her. I'm too scared I say the wrong thing. I'm here for her always but sometimes I feel it isn't enough.

    ReplyDelete
  2. In Heaven, God will immediately wipe-out your nasty thots, girl, and replace'm with treasure-beyond-measure. Meet me Upstairs, miss gorgeous. See ya soon. God bless you.

    ReplyDelete