How Twitter changed my life

I was contemplating leaving my marriage when I realized all my friends are couple friends. You know the kind that won’t be there for you when you split up? So I heard about Twitter and joined on the 11th of April 2009. I went to a few tweet-ups and met some incredible people. At one particular tweet-up I went to meet a friend who had come down to Cape Town from Pretoria; little did I know that I would meet my new partner (the man of my dreams) that night. He had come to the same tweet-up with the same intention and we met and hit it off immediately. We were both in the same place in our lives and had so much in common; we fell madly, deeply in love. In June 2010 newly divorced, I moved in with my boyfriend and have been happier than I have ever been. This in itself is quite life changing. But wait there is more……… Shortly after I moved in, my boyfriend lost his job and relied on twitter for freelance work. This helped us get through the first year together. In May of 2011 my afternoon au-pair position ended as the mom I worked for quit her job and decided to become a stay at home mom, even though I teach mornings and do have a job, it was hard to adjust to having only half a salary. I tweeted that I was looking for an afternoon au-pair post and two weeks ago a twitter friend sent me details of someone looking for an au-pair, through this interaction I went for an interview and was offered the position. In October 2011 my boyfriend applied for a full time position which was advertised on Twitter and got it! He is also extremely happy in his new job, loving it every day.

That is two jobs and a life partner for my boyfriend and I all because of twitter! Not to mention all the wonderful people we have met through this social medium, some of whom I am proud to call friends in real life.

Yes sometimes twitter is just a place to be silly, tweet jokes, say what you are thinking. Sometimes it is a source of entertainment when you are bored or standing in a queue. Sometimes it can help you answer a question, choose a movie or help you with a recipe. Sometimes it can be a source of comfort when you are feeling down and sometimes, just sometimes it can literally change your life.

Family traditions

Have you ever wondered why you do certain things a certain way?  Most families have certain traditions that get passed down from generation to generation. I remember a school friend of mine whose mother was regretful that she had managed to have three out of her four children christened, but somehow never got around to having her fourth child christened. I could never understand why it was such a big deal for them as they were not the religious type and never really went to church. I asked her mom about it once and she just said; “because it's something that must be done”.

In my family we had a tradition of opening our presents at midnight on Christmas Eve; this was mainly because we had to rush in the morning to get to church. My boyfriend however did not agree with this idea, as I sadly discovered on Christmas Eve when he told me I had to go sleep and was only allowed to open my gifts in the morning.

Another friend of mine once spent a couple of months in America, during that time she was invited to a traditional thanks giving dinner. She watched the hostess prepare the turkey with great interest. As the lady of the house was about to put the turkey into the oven, she sliced off two thick chunks of meat from either side of the turkey. When my friend asked her why she did that, she said “I don’t know, it’s the way my mom does it.”

That evening the hostess asked her mom why she always sliced off the sides of the turkey before putting it into the oven. Her mom replied “because when I was young the turkey was bigger and we had to cut it so that it would fit into the oven dish”.

I realized that it’s okay to question something if you don’t understand it, rather than doing things blindly just because that’s how it’s always been done. This is what my generation is doing now anyway. Media and Hollywood keep telling us to question the norm, think outside the box. With movies that show an underachiever questioning authority and winning the hearts of the audience. People are becoming more and more vocal about what they want and sharing their feelings through social media and blogs. People are no longer willing to become doormats, they are starting to stand up for themselves and don’t get me wrong I like it, but I do see the side effects. Lack of respect seems to be the norm for young teens these days. I wonder if there is a way to question authority without being disrespectful of it. If there is, our teenagers sure haven’t learnt that yet.

Handle with care

She was so tired; the last few weeks of work were insanely busy. So many last minute things to do, but tomorrow would be the start of her holiday, she could not wait. Kay closed her eyes out of sheer exhaustion and fell instantly asleep

She awoke with all the excitement a seven year old could have on Christmas morning. She heard her mom calling her, “Are you awake Kay? Come to the living room we have a surprise for you” She ran to the living room as fast as her little legs could carry her, heart pounding with excitement. “Merry Christmas sweetheart” said her mom and dad in unison. “Do you want to open your presents?” said her dad. She looked at them and shouted “Yes, yes, yes, but first you have to open yours okay” She handed her mom and dad their gifts and watched with great anticipation as they opened them. Mom received a hand drawn picture in a photo frame made out of cardboard and macaroni. “Its beautiful honey” she said and gave Kay a hug. “Now you, dad” she said. He opened it calmly, looked at the empty tin can covered in brown paper and colourful stickers and said “What is it honey?”  “It’s for your desk daddy, you put your pens in it” she said. “Ah, just what I need” he said and gave her a kiss on her forehead “Now you have to open yours “He said gently.

She opened the biggest present that was under the tree and squealed with excitement as she discovered its contents. “It’s the Rapunzel Barbie with the flowing long golden hair!” she exclaimed, “thank you, thank you, thank you, it’s just what I wanted”. Then something shiny caught her eye. It was sitting to the centre of the tree all alone, hints of silver streaming from it. “What’s that?” she said, pointing to the little silver box in the corner with a big pink ribbon on top of it.

“I don’t know honey” said mom with a puzzled look on her face. Dad looked at the mysterious box and then at mom with suspicion. Mom met his gaze and shook her head and shrugged her shoulders as if to signify that she too was just as flummoxed by the appearance of this little box. Was it from Father Christmas? She thought, did he really exist? Mom turned to her and said “Well why don’t you open it and find out?” almost as if she was reading Kay’s thoughts. She walked over to it, picked it up carefully and placed it on her lap. She shook it gently, and then sniffed it, as if that would give her some clue as to its origin. She looked at the pink bow; it was the most perfect bow she had ever seen as if it was formed in a factory, both sides in perfect symmetry. On the side of the box was a little card that read, For K.

She tugged ever so gently at the ribbon, being careful not to tear it. As the bow unfolded and the ribbon fell silently to the ground, she began peeling back the silver paper. “What is it?” said mom. A stream of light flooded the room, “I don’t know” Kay replied. Then Kay woke up.

She sat up in bed, looked at the bedside table, the alarm clock read 4:25. Dammit, she thought what a dream. Then it caught her eye, the little silver box with its perfectly formed ribbon. She reached for it, hands trembling and immediately ripped open the box.

As she stared down at this gift, she heard an audible voice from within it saying; “This is your future Kay”.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift! That’s why it’s called the present.

The unpaid babysitter

As the year draws to a close and people everywhere have a million and one end-of-year functions to attend more and more parents find themselves in need of the services of a good babysitter. I have been babysitting for many years and found it to be quite lucrative. Then I thought, being a parent is much like being a babysitter, except that there is no one to relieve you at the end of your shift (the hours are sporadic at best). There is no salary (a big minus if you need money to survive) and the responsibility of ensuring that this little being is reared in the best way possible is as great as if you were the CEO of a major corporation.

So why do we do it then? Why do we go through all that pain (and believe me there is pain, they don’t call it labour for nothing) of childbirth for something that seems to have little to no reward?  And why would parents who have more than one child do it over and over again?

Because there is a reward, one that is far beyond anything you can ever imagine. It may not be measured in monetary terms or seem to be of much worth in this materialistic world, but is much greater than you could perceive.

My children are all grown up now and it has not all been a bed of roses. There were times when I thought the hospital they were born in had made a horrible mistake and given me the wrong children.  The one thing that has remained constant is that I love them unconditionally. It’s not something you plan, it just happens right from the moment they are born (and sometimes for parent’s right from the time they find out they are with child). When you hold your little baby in your arms you are overwhelmed by so many things. You immediately know that you will do everything in your power to love and protect him to the best of your ability. You may never be the best parent in the world but I reckon that as long as you strive to do your best that is good enough.

So how about those rewards I mentioned then? Well….You will receive great joy in seeing your child’s first smile, it has been known to be quite infectious you can’t resist smiling back. You will enjoy (yes enjoy) being drooled on and having bits of food all over your clothes when he first learns to eat solids. First steps are always exciting, thank goodness he has a nappy to land on when he stumbles. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. Then we get to the pre-school years….You will be entitled to receive very cute hand made mother’s day cards with lots of squiggly drawings that only your child can decipher. You will fill with pride watching him on stage at his very own nursery school concert where you just know (even though he may only have a minor role) he will be the star. When he puts his arms around you and says “I love you mommy” the feeling you will have inside your heart is so great you will feel like you have just won the biggest lottery on earth. It gets better and better as he grows into his own, and you get to watch how this little individual is becoming a grown up person. You will fill with pride at his many achievements and be there to help him along when he has doubts and sorrows.

I could go on and on about the many rewards of being a parent, but, for, me the only thing better than being a parent is being a grandparent.

Below is a Face book message I received from my daughter a week after her little girl was born:

Hey mommy, I just wanted to say THANK YOU! For putting up with us 3. I can only now understand and have a deeper appreciation for how difficult it must be being a mom. I love you. I really am having a hard time adjusting, but taking it every day at a time. *mwah* I really am grateful for everything you have done. xx your daughter.

What if

It was a quarter past midnight when she heard the noise. She sat up startled and listened, yes it was the sound of the telephone ringing. It was downstairs in the hallway, far away from her warm comfortable bed upstairs. Should she get it? She wondered.  

It was the middle of winter and freezing, the temperature downstairs was sure to be almost sub zero. And anyway if she got up now it would take her forever to fall asleep again afterwards, and she had work in the morning. No let it ring she thought. Again it persisted, “ring ring” who the hell could it be at this late hour?

Then she jumped up, remembering the words of her mom, “this is the death hour. No one calls you after 11pm on a week night unless someone you know or close to you has died”

Oh dear she thought, what if it is serious? What if something bad has happened to someone she loves?  Still the ring persisted. It must be important, she thought or they wouldn’t keep ringing. She got out of bed, slipped on her gown and stumbled down the stairs barefoot. Clutching her trembling body tight, as if to keep all warmth from escaping.

She got to the bottom of the stairs in record speed, almost tripping on the last step.

As she reached down to pick up the telephone receiver, it stopped. “Hello, hello, anyone there?” she said.

Dial tone.

Disappointed she trudged back upstairs with a sigh. Now I won’t be able to get back to sleep at all she thought. As her mind raced around all the possibilities of who the caller was and their reason for calling.

I have often sat down and played the ‘what if” game with myself. I’m sure you all know that game, the one where you think of all the decisions you have made and wondered, what if I had made a different one. I have also been in situations where my intuition tells me one thing and I have ignored it and had to suffer the consequences.

No one has the luxury of a 100% guarantee. I’m sure every divorced couple will tell you that the day they said “I do” they honestly thought it would last forever.

Life throws darts our way and most of the time we try and duck out of the way, occasionally getting hit in the process. But we heal in time and we carry on and sometimes just sometimes we are brave enough to pick up that dart and throw it back.

No more regrets, missed opportunities or what if. get out of your comfort zone and take a chance on life.

The Blogger event

Last night Scott and I attended the Kodak Cape town Blogger event. It was great fun and I won two prizes! A cute Kodak camera and T-shirt from The friends of design Digital Academy.

Because Scott works in Town, and we had an hour to kill before the event started we thought it would be a good idea (it wasn’t) if we met at Neighbourhood for a few pre-event drinks. Dinner was the farthest thing from our minds, this would come back to bite us on the ass later.

Upon arrival at the Blogger event, we were all given a number to be kept for the lucky draw later and a complimentary glass of wine. Note that we had already had a few drinks prior to our arrival, oh and did I mention the one glass of wine I had before I left the house. The evening went well, lots of people received prizes as did I when my number was drawn out of a champagne bucket. Then they served a few horsdeuvres and topped up our wine glasses (more free wine). Then Phillip Schmid from Friends of design announced that he had 10 free T-shirts to give away if you checked in at Friends of Design on foursquare.

Now If you are on foursquare you will know that when you type in a venue, it will bring up about 5 different ones in that same vicinity and it can be very easy for someone (say like me) to scroll down your blackberry and click on the wrong one by accident. Especially if your vision is a little blurry and your fingers not so steady from beer, wine and an empty stomach. I clicked on what I thought was friends of design and when I saw that I had checked in I went to Phillip and proudly announced that I had. He was very polite and reminded me that I won a prize from them at the last blogger event. I replied: “but I checked in”. He then gave me a T-shirt. I was stoked; Scott was not too impressed that I had won again. I gloated and may have used the phrase ‘been there done that AND got the T-shirt’. Yes I know very cliché.

Well, this morning we woke up to discover that we were both suffering from a debilitating disease called Alcoholic Amnesia. Yes this is very serious; it affects about 1 in every 5 people who like to partake in such things as complimentary drinks on an empty stomach and beer. The symptoms are; memory loss, feeling of embarrassment, severe headaches and dryness of the mouth (or fuzzy tongue as it is known in medical circles). The side effects; the excruciating pain of tagged faceboook notifications, and strange status updates. Early indications; Waking up in the morning and saying stuff like “how did I get here? Where am I? Where are my keys and (in Scotts case) I can’t find my cell phone and cigarettes.

For me the worst side effect is undoubtedly the feeling of guilt! I checked my twitter timeline this morning to see if I had made any embarrassing drunken tweets last night only to discover I was still on foursquare. I had to my horror not in fact checked in at Friends of Design last night, but into some place called the Null. Now I have know idea where or what the Null is, but I feel so ashamed for having claimed a prize for which I was not worthy. And so to Phillip and the People at Friends of Design my sincere apologies. I did check in this morning at 3:45 when I woke up!

The photo above (taken on my new camera)is of Amanda and I with our T-shirts.

5 generations of AWESOME

5 generations of Awesome

It doesn’t happen every day and it doesn’t happen to everyone, in our family there are 5 generations of AWESOME women (yes we are that awesome I had to use caps!).

The day my daughter came home from hospital with my second grandchild we all got together to welcome her, it was at this gathering we realized that there were 5 generations of women in one room. Now I know you probably thinking so what? Your family breeds like rabbits and this is special? Well it’s just that I know quite a few people who have never even had the chance of meeting their grandparents let alone great grandparents. So when you have the chance to meet your great great grandmother it’s pretty awesome.

Ok so we may have cheated a little by having our children very young. My gran had my mom at 18 (she was married by then) my mom had me at 17; I had my first daughter at 16. And yes as you can see by the rapid progression of age declining I was a bit nervous when my daughter turned 15. I think I may have threatened her with death should she come home pregnant at 15! Luckily both my daughters waited till after 20 to have their babies breaking the teenage cycle.

These women in our family are strong; we have been through much in our lifetime and remain a formidable force to be reckoned with. I am proud to have a young at heart 78year old granny and I told her if she can hang in there another 20 years, till my granddaughters have daughters of their own. Who knows there may just be 6 generations of awesome to celebrate.