You make me proud to be your mommy

Last weekend my daughters and their babies came to spend the day with us.

I was quite amazed to see how differently each one handled their child. My daughters grew up together and are only 2yeas apart in age, their daughters are only one month apart yet their parenting styles are so different.

Each one with their own version of what the best parenting style is, and yet neither one better than the other, just different. I watched in awe at how grown up they are now that they are mommies and proud of the way they faced each parenting challenge.

My second eldest is at University, she is doing her B-ED and wants to be a math’s teacher or lecturer. I was particularly amazed at the way she overcomes life’s little obstacles. Last week while travelling home from Uni she was the victim of a smash and grab. While stopping at a red traffic light a man came up to her car and smashed the passenger window in and ran off with her handbag. She was in shock at first, but went off to the police station to report it. While chatting to her about it on the weekend, she said that a few of her assignments were in her handbag and that she would have to do them again. I asked her if she had told her lecturers about the incident, as they would probably give her an extension on her assignments given her circumstances. She replied that while it was a valid reason, she did not want to tell them and use it as an excuse, in her words “I don’t want to be a victim”.  Also she added that she would have to do them again anyway so there is no time like the present.

I was floored! When did my baby grow up? To be a smart independent and strong woman! I am one proud mommy!!!!

I love the fact that when life throws her lemons, she grabs a baseball bat and hits them away, and moves on. I like to think that my parenting skills aren’t all that bad.

Above is the picture that she posted as her BBM avatar the day after her smash and grab, says a lot don’t you think.

For parents

As some of you may know, I have been writing articles for an online parenting website called Mommy Matters Magazine. The intention of this site is to help parents in all issues relating to parenting. It was created as a kind of resource site for parenting. In case you have missed some of my articles, today instead of blogging I have decided to compile a list of them. Below are the links to the articles I have written so far. I hope you find them useful and interesting.

How to cultivate an inquiring mind:

How to survive the first day of play-school:

Child friendly places to go in Cape town:

Beating the holiday boredom blues:

Milestones from 2-5yrs explained:

Positive potty training:

The unpaid babysitter

As the year draws to a close and people everywhere have a million and one end-of-year functions to attend more and more parents find themselves in need of the services of a good babysitter. I have been babysitting for many years and found it to be quite lucrative. Then I thought, being a parent is much like being a babysitter, except that there is no one to relieve you at the end of your shift (the hours are sporadic at best). There is no salary (a big minus if you need money to survive) and the responsibility of ensuring that this little being is reared in the best way possible is as great as if you were the CEO of a major corporation.

So why do we do it then? Why do we go through all that pain (and believe me there is pain, they don’t call it labour for nothing) of childbirth for something that seems to have little to no reward?  And why would parents who have more than one child do it over and over again?

Because there is a reward, one that is far beyond anything you can ever imagine. It may not be measured in monetary terms or seem to be of much worth in this materialistic world, but is much greater than you could perceive.

My children are all grown up now and it has not all been a bed of roses. There were times when I thought the hospital they were born in had made a horrible mistake and given me the wrong children.  The one thing that has remained constant is that I love them unconditionally. It’s not something you plan, it just happens right from the moment they are born (and sometimes for parent’s right from the time they find out they are with child). When you hold your little baby in your arms you are overwhelmed by so many things. You immediately know that you will do everything in your power to love and protect him to the best of your ability. You may never be the best parent in the world but I reckon that as long as you strive to do your best that is good enough.

So how about those rewards I mentioned then? Well….You will receive great joy in seeing your child’s first smile, it has been known to be quite infectious you can’t resist smiling back. You will enjoy (yes enjoy) being drooled on and having bits of food all over your clothes when he first learns to eat solids. First steps are always exciting, thank goodness he has a nappy to land on when he stumbles. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. Then we get to the pre-school years….You will be entitled to receive very cute hand made mother’s day cards with lots of squiggly drawings that only your child can decipher. You will fill with pride watching him on stage at his very own nursery school concert where you just know (even though he may only have a minor role) he will be the star. When he puts his arms around you and says “I love you mommy” the feeling you will have inside your heart is so great you will feel like you have just won the biggest lottery on earth. It gets better and better as he grows into his own, and you get to watch how this little individual is becoming a grown up person. You will fill with pride at his many achievements and be there to help him along when he has doubts and sorrows.

I could go on and on about the many rewards of being a parent, but, for, me the only thing better than being a parent is being a grandparent.

Below is a Face book message I received from my daughter a week after her little girl was born:

Hey mommy, I just wanted to say THANK YOU! For putting up with us 3. I can only now understand and have a deeper appreciation for how difficult it must be being a mom. I love you. I really am having a hard time adjusting, but taking it every day at a time. *mwah* I really am grateful for everything you have done. xx your daughter.

5 generations of AWESOME

5 generations of Awesome

It doesn’t happen every day and it doesn’t happen to everyone, in our family there are 5 generations of AWESOME women (yes we are that awesome I had to use caps!).

The day my daughter came home from hospital with my second grandchild we all got together to welcome her, it was at this gathering we realized that there were 5 generations of women in one room. Now I know you probably thinking so what? Your family breeds like rabbits and this is special? Well it’s just that I know quite a few people who have never even had the chance of meeting their grandparents let alone great grandparents. So when you have the chance to meet your great great grandmother it’s pretty awesome.

Ok so we may have cheated a little by having our children very young. My gran had my mom at 18 (she was married by then) my mom had me at 17; I had my first daughter at 16. And yes as you can see by the rapid progression of age declining I was a bit nervous when my daughter turned 15. I think I may have threatened her with death should she come home pregnant at 15! Luckily both my daughters waited till after 20 to have their babies breaking the teenage cycle.

These women in our family are strong; we have been through much in our lifetime and remain a formidable force to be reckoned with. I am proud to have a young at heart 78year old granny and I told her if she can hang in there another 20 years, till my granddaughters have daughters of their own. Who knows there may just be 6 generations of awesome to celebrate.