Rape is not about sex, it’s about power, control and
dominance.
When you have been raped your first response is that of
shame and guilt. Did I do something to precipitate this? Is it my fault? Why
did this happen to me? Will anyone
believe that I didn’t want this to happen? I feel so dirty I don’t want anyone
to know. You feel ashamed of what happened, sometimes even afraid to speak out
and tell someone. You keep this shame within you and carry those feelings of
guilt around like an anvil. Your life is changed forever.
This is what the perpetrator does to you; he invades your
inner soul and robs you of your innocence. He controls your thoughts as you
re-live this horrifying experience in your head. He has power and control over
your feelings and even your outlook on life. Your attitude towards men in
general can change. Having been raped at the age of twelve and being the mother
of a child who was raped at the age of fourteen, I have very strong opinions on
this topic. When I see people commenting on rape stories in the media as if the
person brought this upon themselves, it makes my blood boil.
Rape is a degrading act of violence against another human
being, where the rapist needs to feel in control and exert force over another
to feel powerful. Feeding off the fear and shame of another; I say, no more!
Stop the control! Stop the shame! Get rid of the guilt and speak out. Rob him
of his power to control.
It took me four years
before I told anyone about my rape, but once I did I could feel the burden of
carrying this secret around lifting from me. That’s why I am so vocal about it;
I encourage you to share your experience with someone. Once you do, you release
all that guilt and shame upon the person who deserves it, the rapist! He no
longer holds a power over you. You can say with conviction; it wasn’t my fault.
I didn’t deserve this. He is the guilty one; HE should be ashamed for what he
has done. I will no longer be a victim, I am a survivor. I am in control of MY
life and my feelings.
