Partners in crime

Why is it when we look for a partner in business we look for like minded individuals with the same ideals and visions as ourselves? We want someone we respect and who has good business savvy that will help you reach your ultimate goal in life. Would you 'get into bed' with a business partner who has anything but your utmost respect?

Partners in crime: would you contemplate (hopefully not) but it is a good example, committing a crime with someone you hardly know? Someone you are not sure you can trust? someone you may know a little, but not really well?

Why then, when it comes to a lifetime partner or a spouse, one is ready to jump into a relationship half cocked. Not really knowing the other person or their goals, ideals or visions for the future? This to me is a sign of disrespect. Not respecting them enough to actually get to know them before jumping into bed with them (literally as well as figuratively). I think sometimes certain relationships fail because we are ruled by emotions, lust and physical attraction which makes us feel good when we are attracted to the other person but then we live by the mentality of; hey if it feels good then why not go for it.

But then it's all about feelings and emotions and lust (can't forget the lust). What happens when the feelings and emotions start to fade or die down? what are you left with then?

Just questions swimming around in the huge pool of my emotional brain. (yes I do have a brain)

Retribution, Disapointment and Punishment

I am told that when I was young I was quite the 'handful' Which is the politically correct way of saying I was a naughty little s..... My mom always maintained though that her consolation was that one day I would have kids of my own and they too would be teenagers at some point. This was her revenge as it were, and boy was she right! (but those stories are for another time) So back to my childhood, all the adults in my family had their own personal weapon of choice for metering out punishment. That was back in the day when corporal punishment was the norm and not a controversial subject. My paternal grandmother had a wooden spoon (which had a sad face drawn on it with marking khoki, i suspect) it was called 'tickler the wooden spoon'. This name always struck me as a bit odd, as it didn't tickle at all. My aunt on my mother's side had 'The purple slipper'. This was an adult sized (purple)  slipper with a rubberised sole, very flexible and therefore could deliver quite the spanking. My maternal grandparents preferred the old fashioned hand spanking method and my mother had a leather belt. Apparently the idea of the leather belt (I was told in later years) was meant to be so scary that it would not need to be used, merely threatened with. The threat was meant to coax me into submission. Unfortunately for me that theory was was ineffective. There was also the usual removal of privileges and cancelled play dates as well as 'time out 'in my room, these were for minor offences. But my ultimate worst punishment of all, the one I feared the most and could almost not bear to live through was when my grandpa looked me in the eye and said "my girl I'm so disappointed in you." Those words echoed around the room and felt like a knife jab straight to my heart. Still to this day I hate disappointing people in general. It's not so much that I have a need to please everyone, but I do have this need to not displease anyone.

In days of old when chivalry was rife, men gave their word and it was like an oath and could be trusted to be  true. They fought for the integrity of their word and to defend a woman's honour.
Today we are so used to broken promises, people not keeping their word and gossiping about other's that one's word is no longer considered to be true. Your word is taken with a pinch of salt and often not trusted unless proven to be true. Sort of like 'guilty until vindicated instead of innocent until proven otherwise'

So the bottom line is, I hate disappointment just like any other person, but not as much as I hate disappointing others. And if somehow, somewhere I have offended you or disappointed you in the past. I am truly deeply sorry.

Please forgive me

Parenting and bumps

Did you ever make that statement, "when I grow up I'm going to be the coolest parent in the world. I'm not going to be so strict with my children " etc etc. Well flash forward 15 years and I find my mother's words coming out of my mouth. How did that happen? I had a plan, a well thought out and carefully constructed plan to avoid old sayings and cliche's. Yet there it is again, parent sayings like: "as long as you live under my roof"........ or" when I was your age"........ and my personal (un)favorite: "Just because I said so!" My beautiful daughters->

While society is evolving all the time, so must we, but there are however a few things that will never change. Parents will always try their best to be in control of their children and children will in turn always push boundaries as far as possible. Teenagers and parents will always clash on issues and just when you have decided you have had enough, you find out you are pregnant and are elated to go through it all over again.

Life as it turns out never runs according to your plan. No matter how hard you try there is always that unexpected bump in the road. You can't (even if you are a manipulating control freak) try and for see that bump and imagine your responses to it. I have found through experience that when faced with such trials my reactions are often not what I expected or planned for. So The best we can do is live life as full and as best as we can, not expecting to be perfect or for everything to run smoothly, but embracing everything that comes your way with a smile and a positive attitude. Bring on those bumps for a road would be boring an monotonous if it were just one straight long strip of tar.













my son (doing his impression of 'Edward" from Twilight

chameleons and thermostats

Are you a thermostat or a thermometer? I heard a preacher once ask this question. He went on to explain that one's presence in any situation should always make a positive impact. A thermostat does just that, it measures the temperature of a room and changes it to an optimum level that is best. Where a s the thermometer merely reads the temperature and reports back it's findings not changing anything.

I have often taken pride in the fact that I can in almost chameleon like fashion fit into any environment I find myself in. I have taught children from poor communities and conversed with their parents on their level. I have also au-paired for some of the wealthiest families in cape Town and mingled with them and their friends after hours. I can talk to almost anyone, it's just part of who I am. But does that mean I am a thermometer? I don't really like to change the dynamic of a group upon entering it, I merely blend in and add to the conversation. I end up changing just a little of myself to suit the current surroundings. Or am I in fact changing the dynamic slightly just by engaging in the conversation in my own way? This leads me to wonder who I am really when I am all by myself.

when walking alone in the forest there are no 'airs' to put on no social masks to wear. just me and my (sometimes scary) thoughts at one with nature. so as much as I love being a social butterfly and I do really. I love meeting new people and going to new places, engaging in conversation with people I have just met is always very exciting to me. I feel that it's vitally important to the well being of my soul to get a good balance.

so when all alone I can ask myself: am I a thermostat or a thermometer?

Instant society

We live in an instant society, no longer content to wait a reasonable amount of time for coffee to percolate, we buy instant coffee. Don't feel like mixing ingredients and baking? buy instant pudding. Too much effort to make gravy from scratch no worries, you can get the gravy powder that you mix with boiling water and have wonderful gravy (it even comes in various flavours) just like grandma used to make in under a minute. Instant meals already made for those who just don't feel like bothering, just heat and eat. I ask myself with the current trend what's next instant babies?? Oh yes that's a great concept, can I have one that grows up in one minute too so I can skip the teenage years?

So now fast food just isn't fast enough if we still have to actually go into the establishment and order a meal and then wait. No we want to be able to just drive up and pick up our meal on our way through. Yip this is awesome, order at one window and by the time you get to the next window Taa-daa your meal is there. Oh dear but if (heaven forbid) it isn't there and we actually have to wait 5 minutes or so in our car, well then the service is just shocking!

I want it all and I want it now!!!

The list of instantaneous living goes on: speed dating hhmm find your soul mate in 3 minutes? Garages promising service delivery so fast they will get you back on the road super quick. Woolworths have a sign that says "this is a 3 minute queue, if you find yourself waiting longer than that please contact the management" Pizza delivery promised within a certain amount of time or it's free. This places extra and undue pressure on the delivery man to get it there on time or he doesn't get paid. All because we are an impatient society. Shew just thinking about how ones life can change in an instant.

So I will leave you with this now:

SLOW DOWN WORLD

As I need to go stand in a queue at the traffic department to pay my outstanding speeding fine.

I love Lemon Sorbet

Ok so I love Lemon sorbet, I love the way it feels when it's rich intense lemon and sweet tangy flavours run down my throat. I love the thought of it, the look of it and even the smell of it. I get excited like a 6 year old kid on his way to buy his favorite toy just thinking about it. Once you have tasted the intensity of it's awesome flavour you will understand, no other sorbet can quite compare everything else tastes bland in comparison.

It's kinda weird because generally I am not a fan of sorbet, not even ice-cream. I don't abhor ice-cream or dislike it I am simply not a lover of the stuff, although admittedly it does cool you down on a hot summer day. Getting back to my love for sorbet I mean I don't just love it like I love my car or my special pillow (that's for another blog another day) but I mean I really love it to the point I would run away and marry it if that were allowed.

Ok so you get the general idea lemon sorbet is the shiznit!! What really frustrates me is when I ask for a hot pudding at a restaurant and all they offer you with it is a side order of cream or ice-cream and possiby custard with your pudding. Those choices are so limited and I end up settling for cream, but in the back of my mind I'm thinking "all I really want is Lemon sorbet".

kids really do say the darnest things

If you are a parent of a pre-school child, don't be fooled into thinking you have any secrets from your child's teacher. The minute they step into that classroom they spill their guts, blab everything you don't want people to know like something reminiscent of Jim Carey's movie liar liar. As a pre-school teacher I have had the pleasure of hearing some of the weirdest stories and cutest sayings that could come out of the mouth of a 5 year old. Listed below are a few of my all time favorite gems:

When told to fetch his bag, shoes and jacket to take home with him 5year old Joshua responded with "How can you expect me to carry it all I'm not an octopus".

Upon hearing his classmate using a bad word, Mathew shouted "teacher teacher Rory said a square word". (I would hate to know what would constitute a hexagon word).

Truly innocent and not yet street wise

While discussing comic books with 10 year old James, I was told that 'those' books were inappropriate for his age group because they contained swear words. This was most disconcerting to me as I thought spider man and batman comic books were specifically designed for the pre-teen. I asked him what sort of swear words were in them, and he politely declined to tell me the exact word, but explained that it was the thing that beaver's build. The word in question was dam!

Airing dirty laundry

One Monday morning Ann's parents brought her to school together as they always had done, but somehow this morning I could tell by their demeanor that something was a little off. Later that day during news time Ann told us the lovely story of how her daddy screamed at her mommy and called her an ugly name that rhymed with itch. Then mommy got cross and threw the iron at daddy breaking the cupboard door when daddy cleverly ducked out of the way.

Mother's day

When I asked the class what special thing they were planning to do for their mommy on mother's day, Gabby who was 5 years old at the time, said she was going to wash her dad's motorbike for him. I pointed out to her that it was mother's day and not father's day, she replied "well if daddy's bike is clean maybe he will ride it all the way to Cape Point and give mommy some peace and quiet. (I hear mommy's voice in there somewhere, don't you?).

And my absolute favorite, the one that literally made me laugh out loud:

While aupairing full time for a family in Hout Bay a few years ago, Callum then a very bright 3 year old asked me if I would buy him his favourite Tweenies toy as it was only R200. I asked him if he has asked his mom to buy it for him. He told me his mom was not allowed to buy anything anymore because she had used up all his daddy's money that he worked so hard for and that daddy was as mad as the hat man in alice in wonderland. When I told him that I didn't have money either he said I should go and get some from the money robot. Curious as to what this was I asked and he explained; "You put your card with a message on it into the robot's eye and he spits out money from his mouth, lots and lots of paper money. (ATM machine?)

I crack myself up on a daily basis at work listening to little ones and their explanations.